Fairytales Continued

'Afternoon from the Great Northwest!

 I asked a friend of mine about the subject of guy's brains, and wasn't surprised to find that I had 'fried things completely'. (haha) So here I am, amending the situation!

 

First of all, I never really explained what I meant by 'waiting' and 'dating'. (That wasn't supposed to rhyme)

Waiting: ...is when you don't know who might be The One, and you aren't 'actively' looking for him/her.

Dating: ...is when you don't know who might be The One, and you don't care, you just want to satisfy your selfish 'needs'.

But there's a third option here, which is much better.

Courting: ...is when you have met someone you think you want to spend the rest of your life with, and instead of attempting to go as far as you can as fast as you can, you utilize waiting, and spend time with your 'significant other' with other people. Like your family.

(I know, that doesn't sound like much fun, but maybe you don't spend enough time with your family as it is. It could be a bonding time with them! [Just kidding. It's hard to bond when your brother is eyeing your new friend a little too closely.] Try it though, your parents will respect you both so much more.)

Some people say that 'dating with purpose' is what young people should do, and they have a good point, but what they often don't get, is that we teens/young adults, get hung up on that simple little word: 'Dating.' It's so easy for people to say, "I'm dating this guy, and we're really going to do it the right way."

You just may want follow God's idea of finding The One. Great. Wonderful. But are you sure that you aren't confusing 'what I want' with 'what God wants'?

Ask yourself this: What is it that I really want? Is it really what God wants for me?

Then go to the Bible and see if you can find something to advocate what you are about to do. Not what the Bible says against what you're doing, that won't work, you'll just decide that what you read applies to something else.

Ok. I just covered that subject pretty thoroughly, so on to the next problem.

To be completely honest, I don't believe I fried the subject of 'guy's brains' quite as much as I was thinking I had, but I do have something more to say about the subject.

Saying 'Two reasons, and two reasons only', was a bit exaggerated, because there's a lot of truth in the phrase 'guys are as complicated as girls are'.

When a guy goes on a date, generally he is either going to see how far he can take things, (in a bad way), or he's looking for a relationship of some sort. He's not going to take you on a date to 'make another guy jealous', look 'cool', or to 'get back at someone'. (Usually) The kind of guy who dates generally won't respect your parents...or you for that matter. All he cares about is himself, and what he wants.

This explains things a bit:

"Dating is usually about meeting a selfish 'need'. Courting is about intentionally building a foundation for marriage." (Yes, Pinterest again.)

So really. Why did that guy dump you? (yesterday's post) Because he got bored with not getting what he wanted from you. (Or getting what he wanted, which is definitely worse than getting dumped.)

"Alright, alright, I've gotten the point." You say. "Just don't have anything to do with guys, and I'll be fine." Well, not dating is a good idea, but that's not the final answer. What happens when you meet a guy who is (let's admit it, pretty awesome)? The first question you should ask yourself is: Would I want to marry this guy? If you can honestly answer that with a yes, then it might be time for you to go to your parents about it. Ask them their opinion. They have been around for a lot longer than you have, and they've learned things about people. They *might* be able to see this guy from a different point of view, and let you in on some things that could help you decide about him.

Anyway, that's about as much as I can say on this subject. I might write more on it in the future, who knows?

~Marissa

The Perfect Fairytale

This one's for the girls, but you guys would be wise to pay attention too, cause it might save you some grief one day.

 

Fairytales are enchanting, (pun intended) we read them and daydream about Prince Charming, about that dress the girl wears, the books Bell finds in the Beast's library, (that last is me) but when we close the book, set it aside and walk out into the real world, oh wow are we disenchanted with life!

Your supposed Prince Charming dumps you for the (admittedly not so great) girl in his new class that you don't go to, and it hurts. You thought that this one really loved you, that this time around the dating wheel, he would accept your past mistakes. "What happened??" You scream, as tears run down your face. You wonder what went wrong, was it your fault? Were you simply not pretty enough? Skinny enough? Happy enough?

No, you dated a guy.

 

What?? This writer is off her rocker, you think. She's crazy. Maybe you have read some of my past posts, you think while that girl's got some odd ideas, she's ok, but this time...she's really lost it. What's the point of getting to know a guy if you don't date him? I mean, come on! If you don't date guys, you'll never find The One. (Cause obviously, God needs some help in that area.) "What does she mean then?" You ask.

Well, I'll tell you. It's pretty simple.

"Dating is like going to the store without money. You either come away dissatisfied, or you come away with something that isn't yours." (Thank Pinterest for that one.)

So am I saying that dating is a bad idea?

100% yes.

It's a very bad idea.

But I'm also not saying you can't be friends with guys. By all means, be friends with guys! Guys need girls to balance out their lives, and the same goes for you girls. Without the opposite genders in our lives, things would be terribly confusing. What I am attempting to say, is that while a guy can be your best friend, and you two can feel like there is nothing you can't say to each other, if you take it so far as to date, you've taken over God's job of bringing two people together, and determined that you should do it for Him.

So what happened when you dated that guy? What went so wrong? Let's assume you picked a 'good' guy. He's a Christian, or maybe he's just really nice. (Oh wait,  I forgot. You hate his face now that he dumped you. He's not nice.) Oh well, let's just assume he used to be awesome. What went wrong, is that you went into it determined to have a good time, not to find the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Be honest. Think back to when you met, was the first thing that came to mind, that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with the guy? Probably not. It probably ran along this line: "Oh my word, he's HOT! I've got to get a date with him!"

Think about it from the guy's point of view. (Let's hope I get this right, I don't know a guy's brain very well, correct me if I'm wrong.)

A guy goes into the relationship for two reasons, and two reasons only. One: He want's to spend about 50 seconds with you and then go on to the next girl when he's used you up. (Or) Two: He want's to find the girl of his dreams, and he's sick of the way he's been acting around girls lately. He want's to do the right thing.

(I sure hope I didn't fry that completely)

What a shock, he's not in it for the same type of 'fun' you were thinking about! But if you don't date guys, how are you going to meet the guy of your dreams?

Again. It's simple.

Wait.

"Woah, that's too hard!" You say, disgusted. "In this day and age, you gotta take what you want when you can, or you're going to miss out."

Nope.

You'll just find out how much God loves you when you meet the right one. Finally. Someday in the future.

It's hard, I know. But believe me, it's going to be worth it.

(I'll let you in on a secret about me: I'm totally in love with a guy. Crazy in love. But we haven't dated, we haven't kissed, and we aren't going to for a very long time. We are waiting for when God tells us both that it's time for us to be together. Then we'll [maybe] realize what the phrase "happily ever after" really means. Why? Because we waited.)

That's the perfect fairytale. Waiting is the perfect fairytale. Because everything is so much better if you wait for it.

"The longer you

wait for something,

the more you'll

appreciate it when

you get it.

'Cause anything

worth having is

definitely

worth waiting for."

 

 

~Marissa