I asked a friend of mine about the subject of guy's brains, and wasn't surprised to find that I had 'fried things completely'. (haha) So here I am, amending the situation!
Waiting: ...is when you don't know who might be The One, and you aren't 'actively' looking for him/her.
Dating: ...is when you don't know who might be The One, and you don't care, you just want to satisfy your selfish 'needs'.
But there's a third option here, which is much better.
Courting: ...is when you have met someone you think you want to spend the rest of your life with, and instead of attempting to go as far as you can as fast as you can, you utilize waiting, and spend time with your 'significant other' with other people. Like your family.
(I know, that doesn't sound like much fun, but maybe you don't spend enough time with your family as it is. It could be a bonding time with them! [Just kidding. It's hard to bond when your brother is eyeing your new friend a little too closely.] Try it though, your parents will respect you both so much more.)
Some people say that 'dating with purpose' is what young people should do, and they have a good point, but what they often don't get, is that we teens/young adults, get hung up on that simple little word: 'Dating.' It's so easy for people to say, "I'm dating this guy, and we're really going to do it the right way."
You just may want follow God's idea of finding The One. Great. Wonderful. But are you sure that you aren't confusing 'what I want' with 'what God wants'?
Ask yourself this: What is it that I really want? Is it really what God wants for me?
Then go to the Bible and see if you can find something to advocate what you are about to do. Not what the Bible says against what you're doing, that won't work, you'll just decide that what you read applies to something else.
Ok. I just covered that subject pretty thoroughly, so on to the next problem.
To be completely honest, I don't believe I fried the subject of 'guy's brains' quite as much as I was thinking I had, but I do have something more to say about the subject.
Saying 'Two reasons, and two reasons only', was a bit exaggerated, because there's a lot of truth in the phrase 'guys are as complicated as girls are'.
When a guy goes on a date, generally he is either going to see how far he can take things, (in a bad way), or he's looking for a relationship of some sort. He's not going to take you on a date to 'make another guy jealous', look 'cool', or to 'get back at someone'. (Usually) The kind of guy who dates generally won't respect your parents...or you for that matter. All he cares about is himself, and what he wants.
This explains things a bit:
"Dating is usually about meeting a selfish 'need'. Courting is about intentionally building a foundation for marriage." (Yes, Pinterest again.)
So really. Why did that guy dump you? (yesterday's post) Because he got bored with not getting what he wanted from you. (Or getting what he wanted, which is definitely worse than getting dumped.)
"Alright, alright, I've gotten the point." You say. "Just don't have anything to do with guys, and I'll be fine." Well, not dating is a good idea, but that's not the final answer. What happens when you meet a guy who is (let's admit it, pretty awesome)? The first question you should ask yourself is: Would I want to marry this guy? If you can honestly answer that with a yes, then it might be time for you to go to your parents about it. Ask them their opinion. They have been around for a lot longer than you have, and they've learned things about people. They *might* be able to see this guy from a different point of view, and let you in on some things that could help you decide about him.
Anyway, that's about as much as I can say on this subject. I might write more on it in the future, who knows?
~Marissa
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